How to earn respect as a woman in the workplace

Let’s face it – in 2020 this is not that big of a deal compared to, say, 1960, but it’s still a big deal in some subtle ways. Getting respect is likely a common challenge for every single person – and not necessarily biased. Now, you’re going to likely face challenges as a young person depending on your workplace. There are a few areas where this may exist. One of those being workplaces still largely dominated by men. I’ve been there – every company I’ve worked for out of college has fit this bill. Each has presented different challenges for establishing respect, and I’ll tell you a bit more about that later on. Another area to look out for is a toxic work environment, because respect is likely not a fundamental part of that workplace.

Some tips and tools

1. Gender roles are still very real – it’s actually an unconscious bias people have. We’ve grown up in different In the Midwest, it is not uncommon to have a stay at home mom, or if she worked outside the home, she was likely an administrative professional or secretary, even a teacher or a nurse. Growing up, my mom stayed home and thank goodness she did – we have 10 kids total in my family, and she was an incredible mom to take care all of us needy kids. This unconscious bias is something we can overcome but it’s something to be mindful of. If women have gender norms or bias thinking that some characteristics shouldn’t be fitting of a woman, then it creates challenges between woman in the workplace. Want to learn more about the concept of unconscious bias- check out this Forbes article where it explains we’ve even trained artificial intelligence bias: https://www.forbes.com/sites/pragyaagarwaleurope/2018/12/03/unconscious-bias-how-it-affects-us-more-than-we-know/#4d0e25536e13
2. Lack of gender diversity in certain fields can absolutely create issues. This is less and less of the situation (which is fantastic!), but still present. For example, a friend of mine works in an engineering group as a supervisor with a team of engineers that report to her. She is an engineer herself with something like 5 years or more of engineering design experience AND an engineering degree. She is challenged by her male colleagues who second guess her or ‘mansplain’ things to her. If you have this experience, I have some tips below on how to deal here. We are going to work together so that women in the workplace in the future do not feel that way again.
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I’ve worked for three different companies since I graduated college. One financial firm, one start-up manufacturing company, and a regulated utility. I’ve had a few different experiences where I’ve been made to feel as though I wasn’t as qualified as my male co-workers. I’ve been openly discriminated against for being a millennial and even been called a “kid” by an employee.

Not everything I’ve experienced was consciously people treating me differently because I was a woman or because I was young. Most of what I experienced was due in part to significant age gaps and a culture long gone that has been changing over in companies during my first decade in the workplace. In my experience, the boys club is rapidly dying. Men that complain about not being included in Women’s diversity or affinity groups have simply missed the point. Though, if missing the point gets us closer to understanding that inclusivity and being treated as equals is important, then I’ll take it.

How, then, do you respectfully address someone who is treating you like you do not understand something you clearly do? When you clearly have the expertise? A couple of things:

1. Don’t try to confront the situation in a large group setting. It’s understandable if you are frustrated or disappointed, heck even mad. You have a right to those feelings. However, when you’re up for an interview in the future and you have to face a question of, “Tell us about a time when you were faced with conflict and how did you address it?” that could be a great story to tell about how you remained calm and addressed the situation like the leader you are.
2. Pull the person aside and talk with them one on one and explain the situation and how you are feeling. Actually ask them to stop doing that action.
3. If you’re not comfortable directly visiting with the person, seek advice and input from your supervisor. You can also visit with the employee’s supervisor, however, know there are consequences to that. First, you don’t grow by addressing the situation. Yes, you shouldn’t have to be put in that situation in the first place, but having someone else fight your battles isn’t going to mean you won’t have battles in the future. We can do hard things and we should try really hard to fight them ourselves, not through other people.

As a Director level employee in my organization I lead such that I treat everyone with respect. I challenge you to lead in the same way. That also means creating inclusive teams and not favoring women-only teams, so be careful.

So, to close out this topic, I hope you know that there are some really incredible women and men that have worked very hard to reach equal protections for women in the workplace. We’re not completely there… so keep an eye open! We’re all a little different, and that’s really important to celebrate. Respect is earned with most people and it’s something you work hard to maintain in both directions.